When Holly Glenn Whitaker of Hip Sobriety posted this message on her social media pages a few short months ago, I wanted to scream from the rooftops and share it across my entire network. It was my truth. Addiction was an experience; it was part of my life. But, do I have to wear it on my sleeve for the rest of my life?
Is that what will make me remember to NEVER forget?
I don’t think so. I remember every damn night what I used to be. And then, I thank God, every damn night, for what I am today.
I am not the girl I once was.
I am not a label or a stigma. I am not an addict. I am no longer homeless. I don’t live in my car. I don’t swallow half a bottle of pills to get away from the voices in my head. I don’t wake up to a few lines of cocaine on my nightstand. I don’t hide men in my room in female sober livings homes and give them water bottles to pee in so they can stay there for nights on end. I don’t cry out “why me?” I don’t hate life. I don’t want to escape the pain of betrayal or loss. I don’t exist in that world anymore. That’s not me.
I am not an addict.